Okay so this was mostly me venting, I admit, but part of the release is showing an audience I guess, any criticism is welcome. Also, when I wrote this I imagined it to be read quickly, so it's kind of fast paced.
I want to hurt you
And I want to to
I hate you
For making me like this
I have no words to describe you
Anymore
For making me like this
And I can’t stand you
The way you don’t notice
I want to cry and I want to hide
Because of you, and you make me
Not want to be myself
At least around you
Fucking hell, you suck so bad
You’re crap.
And that’s all I really need to say to you
Just to get it through your skull
Just to let you know how much I can’t stand
You and don’t want to tread on the ground
You walk on
And how you lead me to blasphemy
When my track record’s been good so far
But you make me swear and you are where this is
Coming from
I wouldn’t be like this if it weren’t for you
Wouldn’t be stuttering around with my words
But now it flows and flows from the lows
Of my being
Because you’re crap.
(Now let’s see what mess we’ve made here. I can’t
believe I wasted my time writing a whole fucking
poem about you.)
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139,477 Literary Works • 672,575 Reviews
NICE.
I really liked that last part in the parantheses. The rest of it was sort of a jumble, but it worked. And I hope it helped you vent and get whatever was going on out of your system.
EXPERimentation with diatribe ey?
Hey I liked this as well as everyone else said! I liked the ending though and thought you did a great job! Love the title too!
I like this very much
I don't know if the ending was part of the poem but if it is I really like that part but if not I think you should put that in there. But very nice.
I'm just going to accept this for what it is and say I enjoyed reading it. Not exactly proper poetry, but I can tell it must have been a great emotional release.
this was very interesting! i dont ever recall reading something of this calibur from you. you had an unusual way of captivating the reader, but it was excellent, and i felt like i relate. good job.
I like your poem!!!!